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CHAPTER 15: POSSESSION
Although the camera wasn't as
heavy as I thought it would be it still required a bit of effort
on my part. I had spent some time moving things out of the way,
creating a path I was going to drag it through. I also made sure
to be as neat as possible as I am sure the rats wouldn't appreciate
a mess in their spotless storage room.
Satisfied I had made enough space
without having to worry about causing damage, I grabbed the black,
nylon strap and began to pull. The camera scraped against the
floor but not enough for me to get it clear out of its corner.
The strap dropped as I caught my breath. Maybe it would go faster
if I pushed it.
Squeezing myself between the
camera and the film containers lined up next to it, I wedged
myself against the wall, propping my feet against the black textured
plastic. With a heaving groan, I pushed as hard as I could, accomplishing
the desired effect. The camera lurched into perfect position.
I was glad the rats didn't have
a love for stairs. All levels were connected by a series of sloping
ramps. That should make dragging the camera outside easy, or
so I hoped. I was still out of breath though.
I pushed the case, turning the
camera lengthwise then gathered up the strap. Bracing my heels
against the floor I started pulling, walking slowly backwards
as I did so.
"Hey, I thought I heard
something going on here."
I turned my head as I continued
pulling. Jinnai stood at the entranceway watching me strain.
"Just getting... my camera..." I puffed, letting go
of the strap.
Jinnai laughed. "You should
have waited for me. I would have helped you." As the dark
rat came up to me, I straightened out my wrinkled tunic, running
my fingers through my hair.
"Actually, I was surprised
I didn't see you before," I replied. "Aren't you supposed
to still be on duty here? I've been moving stuff around for a
while."
Jinnai let out a snort. "No
one steals anything from the storage areas. Anyway it was Justin
who called me away from my post."
I looked up at him with a mixture
of surprise and anxiety. "Justin called you while you were
working? What, another meeting?"
"I told you about those
meetings," he replied, not sounding worried. In fact, he
seemed a bit more cheery than usual. "Strangest thing too.
He asked me if I would like a change of assignment. He never
asked me that before. He would just say, 'go there' and I'd go."
"Yeah, that's really strange."
I hid a knowing smile. "So what are you going to do?"
"Get the heck out of storage,"
Jinnai answered with excited confidence. "I'm going to get
a real guard assignment. I've chosen a position working with
Brutus in the main entranceway during the night hours."
"Brutus, eh?" The name
caused me to unconsciously rub my forehead.
Jinnai could hardly contain himself.
"He's a mute so it's not like I'll be doing much talking
with him but at least I'll be in a place where I won't be bored
out of my mind."
He was very proud of his unexpected
promotion and I was proud also, not only for Jinnai but for Justin
as well.
"That's absolutely wonderful."
Without thinking, I reached out, wrapping my arms around his
neck, giving a congratulatory hug. I didn't realize I had done
it until my face was on his shoulder, my nose in his fur breathing
in his scent.
Jinnai was taken off guard by
my presumptuousness but I felt his hesitant hands touch my back,
completing the embrace. We pulled away at the same time, our
noses almost touching as we paused. I couldn't help but take
in his beautiful blue eyes sparkling in the artificial light.
Feeling myself being swept by
the moment, I quickly turned away, stepping back and giving out
a nervous cough.
"Yes, I am very happy for
you," I half-mumbled, trying to compose myself. Jinnai took
a step back and looked away as well. I could only imagine what
was going through his mind.
"Thank you," he answered
with a small grin on his face.
For a split moment we just stood
there wondering what to do next. I then remembered my camera.
Thankful for the distraction I picked up the strap again. "I
still gotta get this thing out of here."
Jinnai shook his head as I returned
to my pulling. "Hold on," he started. "I have
something that'll make the job a lot easier for you."
He walked back to the front of
the room, rummaging behind some boxes. Finding what he was looking
for he pulled out a wood tray with a rope tied at one end. As
he came closer, I noticed that each corner of the tray had a
wheel. He placed it down next to the camera.
"All right!" I cried
at the sight of the dolly. "I was afraid I'd have to drag
this thing all the way to the top."
"First we have to get the
camera on it," Jinnai answered. "I hope it's not too
heavy."
He went over to the opposite
end of the camera, trying to get a grip on the casing. I did
the same on my end. With a count to three, we lifted the camera,
placing it on the wood pallet. I was glad I had someone to help
me since I knew even if I had found the wheeled tray, I would
not have been able to set the camera on it.
"There we go," Jinnai
answered, slapping his hands together. "Now, isn't that
better?"
With the slightest pull the camera
rolled on the smooth stone floor. I still had to exercise caution
since the first bump would knock it right off the tray. "Thanks
a lot," I replied. "Now to get this thing outside."
Jinnai was quick to invite himself.
"Here, I'll come with you. It's still too big to roll around
without help."
"Aren't you on duty though?"
I asked. "I don't want to get you into trouble."
Jinnai shrugged. "I'm not
going to get into trouble. Helping is part of the job description.
I'm helping a rat in need."
I laughed as I started to pull
the camera. "If you insist."
"You're twisting my arm,"
Jinnai replied in the most deadpan tone he could muster. Leaning
against the camera he began to push.
I picked out the perfect place
to set up long before I started messing around in the storage
room. It was a flat grassy area by the beach near the little
brush Jinnai had been hiding under just a day before.
The sun was still low in the
sky but brightening everything with the newness of morning. The
camera faced a large rock that made a good backdrop with its
flat side. I also got some of the Valley scenery without catching
anything that would show the rats compound. The last thing I
needed was Justin confiscating my film again, especially since
it took a little more effort just to get the camera there, much
less working.
I checked the new roll of film
put in it prior to moving, making sure everything was ready.
At this size, changing the film was a challenge to say the least.
Jinnai stood aside, watching
me as I worked over the camera, adjusting the focus. Because
of the awkward size, I couldn't turn the lens and look through
the eyepiece at the same time. I had to turn, look and see if
the transparent circles on the inside matched. If they didn't,
I had to guess by how much I had to turn the focus ring by.
"That should do it,"
I said more to myself than to Jinnai who was listening.
"What are you doing anyway?"
he asked.
I stepped back, studying over
the stone backdrop. "I want to take a picture of myself.
Even though I may never get to develop this film, I want a record
of this. It's not every day someone gets to experience such a
dramatic physical change."
"That makes sense,"
Jinnai answered. "But what if you never change back to the
way you were before?"
I paused, taking in the idea.
Actually, I didn't want to think I would never change back. In
fact, the whole self-portrait idea was an anchor into the hope
that I would change back eventually.
"Then I don't," I answered,
somewhat straining at the words. "But I think after spending
all that time dragging this thing here, I deserve a photo."
I looked through the eyepiece
again, beckoning Jinnai to come over.
"I need you to help me with
this," I said. I pointed to the shutter button on the top
of the camera. "You see this? When I tell you I want you
to press down on it. You probably will need to press a little
hard but try not to shake the camera. There will be a loud click
then you can let go. Okay?"
Jinnai nodded. "Sounds easy
enough."
I combed my hair with my fingers,
smoothing out my clothes again. I hoped I looked as decent as
I thought I did. I felt a little nervous, downright goofy actually
like the day all the kids in grade school went to get their picture
taken.
I glanced over at Jinnai who
just kept watching me, following my every move in case I decided
to do something spectacular. In fact, I could swear he looked
entertained by the whole thing.
I sighed and stood in front of
the rock, close to the edge so that the picture would have some
greenery in it. I decided to just go with a simple pose, leaning
against it with my hands folded in front of me. When I felt comfortable
enough with my stance, I nodded my head.
"Okay," I said. "Push
the button."
Jinnai placed both hands on the
shutter button to press down. The loud click I told him would
happen startled him a bit but the camera did not shake. The image
was now forever collected.
As I relaxed my pose the sound
of amazed gasping caught our attention. We looked over at the
taller grass about a foot away, a whole group of rats watching
us as they hid.
"Hey there!" I shouted,
causing them to shuffle. "Come on out, there's no need to
hide."
At first they were hesitant to
come near the camera and us but just like human children, their
fear evaporated as their curiosity grew stronger. One by one,
child after rat child came out of their hiding place all smiles
and giggles.
One of the older rats explained
that they were swimming when they noticed us messing with the
black and silver box.
"So what are you doing?"
"I'm taking pictures."
"What's that?"
I smiled at their enthusiasm.
"I'm using my camera to collect images of people and things
I want to remember."
The children gasped at the concept.
"Can you take a picture of us?" The question caused
them to burst into a chorus of 'yeahs!' and 'me too's'. Jinnai
snickered as squealing rat children surrounded me.
"Okay! Okay!" I shouted.
"If you want your picture taken, you all have to do is stand
in front of the rock and wait until I tell you guys to smile."
The children scattered, shuffling
themselves in front of the lens. I walked over to Jinnai, who
was still grinning. "Now I wish I could develop this film,"
I replied. "But I guess it's the thought that counts."
With Jinnai manning the focus
I was able to take several photos of the squealing kids. I laughed
at the realization that it wouldn't have mattered if I didn't
have any film in the camera. These little rats just liked performing
for us.
The parents who wondered where
their children had disappeared soon joined us. Needless to say,
they ended up having their picture taken as well. As word spread
as to that I was doing, we had to pull the camera back to accommodate
the growing group. I lost count as to how many rats were showing
up getting in on the act.
Stronger than the urge to ham
it up was the urge to eat. Lunchtime rolled around and everyone
was eager to fill their stomachs. Soon it was just Jinnai and
myself alone with the camera once again.
"I think it's time to pack
it in," I said. "We better get this back inside."
Then it hit me. "Wait a minute. All these rats and I don't
have a picture of you."
Suddenly bashful, Jinnai turned
away. "It's okay," he said. "We don't have to
do this now. Maybe some other time."
"Get in front of the camera,"
I replied with a slight command tone. "We have this out
already. Might as well use it."
"How about showing me what
you're doing anyway?" he asked. "You keep looking in
that window. I'm not even sure what you're looking at."
"Oh that's easy enough,"
I answered. "First of all, this isn't a window, this is
called the viewfinder eyepiece. You look through here to see
what you're taking a picture of."
We both leaned over to look through
the eyepiece, our faces pressed against each other.
"You see that round transparent
image? That's the split-image focusing system. When the two halves
become one, that means the picture is in focus and the camera
is ready."
The technical talk put me into
teacher mode, causing me to ramble about every nuance I could
think of. I was going on and on until I felt strands of my hair
move in an odd way. I glanced up from the eyepiece seeing Jinnai
smiling down at me. As he leaned against the camera, he gently
rubbed a lock of my red hair between his fingers, taking care
not to pull. I stood up, smiling sheepishly as he let the hair
fall back into place.
"I'm sorry," I whispered.
"I was boring you."
Jinnai laughed. "No, you
weren't boring me. Not one bit. I heard every word you said."
I blushed even harder, wringing
my hands. "Let's take your picture. Everything's set."
I motioned for him to go to the rock. He walked over, trying
to figure out the best pose to take. I leaned over the camera,
reaching for the focus ring, making final adjustments. I watched
him through the eyepiece just shuffling around. Jinnai looked
up at the lens.
"So what do you want me
to do?" he asked, swinging his arms aimlessly.
For some reason my hands were
trembling. "I don't know," I answered without raising
my head. "Be comfortable. Do what you think will make you
look best."
Jinnai shrugged and leaned against the rock. "Is this okay?"
"It's fine."
He gave me a small smile as I
pressed down on the shutter release. Now Jinnai would forever
belong to me. Regardless of what happened, he would always be
mine.
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